Shocked

As Salaam Alaikum,

All that I can do is breathe.

Today I got up and went to get some tax advice from one of my mother’s friends. It was about 3 hours long and I could barely keep myself together. I was crying and stuff. She talked to me about the situation after everything was over and she was really hopeful.

I’m just very sad about the whole situation. I realize now, because of the last two days–which i will not get into, that he has just hurt my feelings. I am still hurt by him leaving, but now i am hurt because he has completly hurt my feelings in the way that he has talked to me. This hurts so much.

I wish that he would come home but I will no longer call him or email him anymore. I see that none of that is working and I feel that there is nothing that I can say. He is making plans to actually leave the state so this is just even harder. I told him that if it took me leaving the state too, then I would do it. But of course none of that mattered to him.

I am just so in shock. My relationship with him has completly collapsed. I told him that I would not ask for mediation, but I have decided that I will when he files for divorce…. but hopefully he will just calm down and not even get to that point. I just hope that he comes home. I just hope and pray.

Please God bring my husband home. Please God.

salaam