Assalaamu alaikum warahmatullah. I am sure this is a hard time for you, and i cannot imagine how it feels. Remember that whatever happens is by the decree of Allah, and the true believer is the one that is satisfied with Allahs decree. So have patience, use this time to reevaluate your relationship with Allah, your love for Allah, and your level of eemaan. May Allah only increase you in it.

This is the life of tests and trials, and Allah tests his believing slaves in order to raise their level, expiate their sins, bring them closer to Him. So rejoice in the glad tidings of paradise and the love of Allah for the believers.

And dont forget to compare your tests with those of the the prophets and the righteous people, you might find comfort in knowing that they had severe tests, and you will find in them beautiful examples of pleasure with Allahs decree.

I pray that Allah reunites you with your husband, or gives you some thing better than that.

You might think something is good for you, when infact it is bad for you, and you might think something is bad for you while in fact it is good for you. Allah knows and you do not.

I’ll leave you with some examples of sabr of the righteous people, maybe you have read it already, but the reminder benefits the believers.

The believer is not one who performs the ordained religious duties superficially and avoids what is forbidden only, but he is one whose faith is absolute, with no objection whatsoever arising in his heart and no obsession dwelling in his soul. The more hardships he faces, the more his faith grows and the more his submission strengthens.
He could pray and not see a trace of an answer to his prayers, yet he does not change because he knows that he is owned by One who deals with him in whatever way He chooses. For if an objection was to arise in his heart, he then forsakes the role of the slave and takes on the role of a protester such as that of Iblees (the devil).
A strong faith unveils itself in strong hardships.

A believer sees in Yahya, son of Zakariyya, a fine example. He was killed by a tyrant who confronted him, yet He (subhanahu wa ta`ala), who made him a prophet, did not intervene nor defend him.

Similarly, all the tyranny that befell the prophets and the believers was not held back from them. If one goes to think that Divinity cannot answer for them then one is an unbeliever. However, if one believes that Divinity can answer for them but chooses not to, and that God (subhanahu wa ta`ala) can make the believers go hungry while infidels are full and inflict the believers with sickness and grant the infidels health, then one is only left with submission to the Owner even when tormented or scorched.

Jacob cried for eighty years when Joseph son of Jacob (peace be upon him) was gone, he never gave up; all he said when his other son was gone too is “May God bring all of them back to me”.

Moses (peace be upon him) prayed against Pharaoh, who killed children and crucified magicians and cut their hands, for 40 years before he was answered.

In such submission the intense of one’s strong faith is manifested not in mere rak`at (bowings in prayer).

So many of those who glorify Qadar were afflicted with tribulations and this did not increase them except in submission and pleasure (with their Lord), and there lies an explanation of the meaning of His words, “Allah is pleased with them” (Quran/5:119 and elsewhere).

Al-Hasan Al-Basree said: “People are the same in health but when hardship befalls they show distinction.”

By: Imam Ibn ul Jawzee
Source: islaam.com

You’re going through so much……so young! masha’allah……Marriage can be hard…it can be tough……i havent read your other posts very thoroghly,so Im not sure what your problems may be….but I pray that Allah mends them (if its his will) and helps you both to resolve your issues……make istikhara and ask Him if this marriage is what is good for you both then to make it work if not for ease in the departure……..
And continue to ask for strength!

If you want to, you can write to me and I’ll pray for you. As you say, it’s really, really hard. I am a Christian, so maybe you’d rather not talk to me, but if you want to, I’m there.

Grace and Peace,

Cindy